Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Reagan

Being fond of parody and political satire from days of yore, I present...The Reagan (1989):

Once upon an Inauguration Day dreary,
while George (HW) Bush pondered weak, but not wimpy,
over America's staggering deficits galore -
While he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly,
there came a tapping,
As of some staff member gently rapping, rapping
at the Oval Office door.
"Tis Dan Quayle," he muttered, "thinking it the
bathroom door,
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah distinctly,  he remembered, it was three months ere November
And Mike Dukakis was the ghost of the dying ember
upon the floor.
Eagerly, he feared the morrow, vainly he sought to borrow
From the taxpayers funds (not by taxes) by the score
Yet the promise he had made, "new taxes are no more."
Nameless here, for evermore.

Open here he flung the door, when amazed at who stood before
In there stepped a stately Reagan, as from the olden days
of yore.
Not in the least pleasantry made he, not a
minute stopped or stayed he
But, with the mien of a dictator of Haiti
walked through Bush's office door.
Sat upon his chair, near the chamber door.
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this stately Californian caused Bush to smile
By his whimsical and fatherly decorum of the countenance
he wore -
"Ronnie, my friend," he said, "surely you
know of my troubles by the score.
Advise me, how do I increase government revenue when
'No new taxes' I swore?"
Quoth the Reagan: "Promise Nevermore."

Startled at the silliness of the reply the actor had spoken
"Ah, Ron, you know that you are President no more
If it weren't for the Twenty-Second Amendment, you would
probably serve two terms more.  Yet if I don't lessen
the deficit, four years from now, the voters
would throw me out through the White House door."
Quoth the Reagan: "Tax the poor."

"My image is bad enough," said Bush, "the public
thinks that the Vice President is a moron to the core.
Congress chooses my Flexible Freeze plan to ignore
The Press believes that the 'thousand points of light'
refers to my millionaire friends galore
What do I do?
Tell me, tell me the answers I implore."
Quoth the Reagan not a word
Only a gentle snore.

- Jason Booms, 1989 (English, "5th hour").

*Irony alert:  Ten years after this poem was scribbled onto a piece of paper, I worked on Vice President Dan Quayle's Presidential campaign.  Life truly does follow some unexpected paths.

Stay tuned, as more will follow.

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