Monday, May 11, 2020

Contemplations on the Board of Education Races

“Fool if you think it’s over/
It’s just begun.” – Chris Rea

Almost two fortnights since my last post. And what new madness is visited upon us?

Perhaps I shall become an apiarist.  The world could use a new breed of bee specifically designed to handle murder hornets.  Two words: Ninja Bumblebees.  The body type of Jack Black combined with the silent lethality of Carlos the Jackal.  It’s a million-dollar idea.  Kindly contact me at my Hotmail address to learn more about investment opportunities.

The commentariat has been a reliable disappointment throughout multiple tragedies.  Candace Owens has apparently decided that acting out some form of public raceplay would be good for her “career.”  Trump manages to find new levels of unhinged and many Democrats are apparently trying to run out the clock when its only in early in the third quarter.  So many amateurs. 

I have been asked for my thoughts on the Board of Education races.  And how can I deny such requests?  Especially when the louder voices are to be found in groups like HoCo Neighbors United (what a sense of humour Mr. Keller possesses).  Then of course you have entities such as Ethical People for the Ethical Treatment of Ethical Ethics and their Integrity Ballot.  I am fairly certain their candidate questionnaires contains the query, “Do we hang out socially? Yes/No/Maybe”. But I jest.  Actually not really, but it takes off the edge.    

Yet, there are newcomers on the scene…and, as a Vicar of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude (Reformed), I thank God for those who are engaging in the heavy lifting for the cause.  Here I am thinking about Howard County Progress Report.  The author of that blog is crafting some scintillating, and sometimes devastating, exposes.  To her I say, “I like your style.”

Where was I?  Yes, thoughts on the BoE.  As I wrote about in a pre-COVID post, I am no longer in the endorsement game.  At least not formally. I think the trope worked for an election cycle, perhaps two, but it seems oddly stuffy and old-hat.  Being a relic, one would think that would be an excellent fit for me, but I don’t know if it’s good for the Movement. 


I will tell you who I am (or would be) voting for in each of the five districts.  If you want to consider that an endorsement and run with it, then by all means take those balls and apply them directly and firmly to the wall.  By the way, it’s an aviation phrase you dirty-minded person.  You think a man of the cloth would curse?!  Perish the thought.  Say and pass five Hail Marys.

District One:  Matthew Molyett.  With only two candidates running, he is guaranteed a spot on the General Election ballot.  He is up against the well-funded Christina Delmont-Small.  The incumbent deserves to lose and lose badly in what has been, in recent history, a swing district.  If her political views and rancid affiliations were better known, she would already be an underdog to Mr. Molyett.  He deserves our support.

District Two: Antonia Barkley Watts.  I didn’t know her that well until the past few months.  With her impressive education credentials, I think she would be an exceptional member of the Board.  Also, I don’t like punching down but sometimes you need to stop someone’s career before it gets started.  That is why “La Pret” a semi-perennial candidate and constant gadfly must be defeated, preferably in the primary and by a wide margin.

District  Three: I am going with Jolene Mosley.  Tom Heffner, who was also on the show I co-host from time to time, Forward Maryland, seems like a decent chap with some interesting ideas on resilience.  I had the opportunity to speak with Ms. Mosley at a candidate forum that was co-hosted by the aforementioned podcast…and I walked away with a very favorable impression. 

District Four:  Jen Mallo.  I think the HoCo cognoscenti, which would be YOU, Dear Reader, know that I support Ms. Mallo.  Beyond the attribute of toughness and her sharp mind, I think she is the candidate best positioned to keep the Fightin’ Fourth out of Matt Levine’s guns-in-schools lovin’ mitts.  Should it come to it, head-to-head, I believe Mallo defeats Ms. Palmer too.     

District Five:  No comment.  Do I have a favorite? Yes.  Would it help them if I stated my preference?  My West HoCo associate, Clive Hammerjets, chortled a hearty “Noooooo.”  So I will say nothing more at present.

So there you have it. 

In solidarity.

1 comment:

  1. "Rancid affiliations". Good one. Cutroneo and Yungmann are fav's of CDS. The dirt on every candidate is there for the scrolling. Vote for the worst. The BOE is useless.